Everyone is obsessed about food. Everyone. Even tam brahms.The special thing about tam Brahms is that we don't have the multitude of choices that, say, a mallu Christian has, when it comes to food. It's either curd rice, or any other rice, mixed with curd. Curd has to be ubiquitous. And of course, there are many taboos, belonging to the clan as such, and then the the quirks of the particular family. But in general, the choice isn't much. Everyone knows it, but want to pretend otherwise
The discussion regarding what to make for dinner resembles probably a national level cabinet meeting. Involves all members of the family. Anyone not present will be tele invited.
Now to just sample what happens, let's take the example of a house consisting of patti, thatha, amma, appa and two kids. One would be me and the other my brother.
Patti: (usually the one who initiates the discussion) ' Raathiri Ku enna menu'? ( What's the plan for dinner)
The question, or rather the statement is initially met with silence, for everyone is already aware of the outcome.
I roll my eyes and continue to read my biology textbook. Brother hasn't even heard the question, he is too busy playing videogames. Thatha decides to go for a walk. Appa,of course isn't there.
Amma says it's too early to decide. So an hour and a half passes.
Scene remains the same, with patti posing the same question. This time, however, she also says that -
neenga ellam enna venum nu sonna dhaane panna mudiyum. ( Only if you all tell me what to make, I can make that) (sorry for the literal translation - but you get the idea)
I decide to venture into the field. A very bold decision, actually.
Me : What about vengaya sambhar?
Patti : no, today is pradhosham, we can't have onions! Unnaku theriyadha enna? (Don't you know)
Brother and me roll our eyes and resist.
Patti: I will definetly make it some other day. But tell me something for now. Whatever you say!
Brother: okay then why don't you make pizza?
Patti : I don't know how to make that! Besides it's very unhealthy. Full a only maida maavu. Not good for health at all.
At this point, it starts becoming a lecture. Mostly regarding the cons and disasters of fast food. No one listens anymore. But she still continues.
Half an hour later, the scene is still the same. And the menu undecided.
Patti : what should I make for dinner?
Me : what about just sambhar and shenakazhangu curry?
Brother looks and me and gives me a big hug for suggesting his favourite dish!
Patti : yesterday only I made shepankazhangu. Thirippiyum thirippiyum kazhange sapduvela? (Will you repeatedly eat only root vegetables)
Me : okay then. What about more kozhambu? And vendakka curry? ( Buttermilk sambhar and ladies finger)
Patti: actually, that's the menu I decided for tomorrow. You will like taking it to school right?
Me : okay then do whatever you want.
Patti : (breaking into almost hysterical fits) I don't know. I am not modern like you all. Ennaku therinjadhu sambhar rasam curry dhaan. Neenga enna venum nu sonnadhane. Idhulaye ennaku Bp eridum. ( All I know is sambhar rasam and curry. You will have to tell me what to make. This itself raises my BP)
Me : okay make keerai and rasam.
Patti : there is no keerai at home. Why don't you and your thambi go and buy it? I will surely make it then.
Brother and sister suddenly remember that there is a lot of homework pending. And they exit.
Enter father.
Patti to father : nee yaavadhu solluda. Raathiri enna pannatum? ( Atleast you tell me, what shall I make for dinner)
Father ( answer never never never never ever varies) : jeera rasam
Patti : poda. Daily idhaye sollara. Because of you only, my peran pethi get angry with me for making the same thing! ( You say the same thing everyday!)
Me : what about that recipe they showed on TV that day - you made notes and all, can you make that?
Patti and amma in chorus: that's a very complicated recipe, no time now. If you wanted it, you should have told well in advance. We would have been prepared.
Finally everyone gets annoyed, and go forth doing their activities. Patti continues to lament, and then suddenly there is silence.
In the silence that follows, everyone assumes that dinner has been decided.
An hour later, at the dinner table, everyone gathers, quite excited to see what dinner would be. To see the fruit of a very long extended and painful conversation.
Me : patti, what did you finally make? I am very hungry
Patti : I just made curd rice.
My brother let's out a howl. An anguish. What. No!
Brother: I can't have this!
Me : thottukarthukku enna? ( I am still shocked, and believe that there must be atleast a good accompaniment)
Patti : nethikku panna chow chow kootu irukku. And some ericha kozhambu! ( For those who don't know what ericha kozhambu is - it's a 'dish' made by boiling today's sambhar, yesterday's vethakoxzhambu, day before yesterday's kootu, rasam from the day before- you get the drift)
No one has anything to say. No one. Nothing. Dinner if course has to proceed in silence. Fade to silence.
End of act.
The discussion regarding what to make for dinner resembles probably a national level cabinet meeting. Involves all members of the family. Anyone not present will be tele invited.
Now to just sample what happens, let's take the example of a house consisting of patti, thatha, amma, appa and two kids. One would be me and the other my brother.
Patti: (usually the one who initiates the discussion) ' Raathiri Ku enna menu'? ( What's the plan for dinner)
The question, or rather the statement is initially met with silence, for everyone is already aware of the outcome.
I roll my eyes and continue to read my biology textbook. Brother hasn't even heard the question, he is too busy playing videogames. Thatha decides to go for a walk. Appa,of course isn't there.
Amma says it's too early to decide. So an hour and a half passes.
Scene remains the same, with patti posing the same question. This time, however, she also says that -
neenga ellam enna venum nu sonna dhaane panna mudiyum. ( Only if you all tell me what to make, I can make that) (sorry for the literal translation - but you get the idea)
I decide to venture into the field. A very bold decision, actually.
Me : What about vengaya sambhar?
Patti : no, today is pradhosham, we can't have onions! Unnaku theriyadha enna? (Don't you know)
Brother and me roll our eyes and resist.
Patti: I will definetly make it some other day. But tell me something for now. Whatever you say!
Brother: okay then why don't you make pizza?
Patti : I don't know how to make that! Besides it's very unhealthy. Full a only maida maavu. Not good for health at all.
At this point, it starts becoming a lecture. Mostly regarding the cons and disasters of fast food. No one listens anymore. But she still continues.
Half an hour later, the scene is still the same. And the menu undecided.
Patti : what should I make for dinner?
Me : what about just sambhar and shenakazhangu curry?
Brother looks and me and gives me a big hug for suggesting his favourite dish!
Patti : yesterday only I made shepankazhangu. Thirippiyum thirippiyum kazhange sapduvela? (Will you repeatedly eat only root vegetables)
Me : okay then. What about more kozhambu? And vendakka curry? ( Buttermilk sambhar and ladies finger)
Patti: actually, that's the menu I decided for tomorrow. You will like taking it to school right?
Me : okay then do whatever you want.
Patti : (breaking into almost hysterical fits) I don't know. I am not modern like you all. Ennaku therinjadhu sambhar rasam curry dhaan. Neenga enna venum nu sonnadhane. Idhulaye ennaku Bp eridum. ( All I know is sambhar rasam and curry. You will have to tell me what to make. This itself raises my BP)
Me : okay make keerai and rasam.
Patti : there is no keerai at home. Why don't you and your thambi go and buy it? I will surely make it then.
Brother and sister suddenly remember that there is a lot of homework pending. And they exit.
Enter father.
Patti to father : nee yaavadhu solluda. Raathiri enna pannatum? ( Atleast you tell me, what shall I make for dinner)
Father ( answer never never never never ever varies) : jeera rasam
Patti : poda. Daily idhaye sollara. Because of you only, my peran pethi get angry with me for making the same thing! ( You say the same thing everyday!)
Me : what about that recipe they showed on TV that day - you made notes and all, can you make that?
Patti and amma in chorus: that's a very complicated recipe, no time now. If you wanted it, you should have told well in advance. We would have been prepared.
Finally everyone gets annoyed, and go forth doing their activities. Patti continues to lament, and then suddenly there is silence.
In the silence that follows, everyone assumes that dinner has been decided.
An hour later, at the dinner table, everyone gathers, quite excited to see what dinner would be. To see the fruit of a very long extended and painful conversation.
Me : patti, what did you finally make? I am very hungry
Patti : I just made curd rice.
My brother let's out a howl. An anguish. What. No!
Brother: I can't have this!
Me : thottukarthukku enna? ( I am still shocked, and believe that there must be atleast a good accompaniment)
Patti : nethikku panna chow chow kootu irukku. And some ericha kozhambu! ( For those who don't know what ericha kozhambu is - it's a 'dish' made by boiling today's sambhar, yesterday's vethakoxzhambu, day before yesterday's kootu, rasam from the day before- you get the drift)
No one has anything to say. No one. Nothing. Dinner if course has to proceed in silence. Fade to silence.
End of act.
