Looking through the scope of horror

And there comes the day that every girl dreads. The horror of the horror-scopes. It is so commonplace and banal and absolutely unimaginative, that I feel like throwing up. Every guy wants the same thing. A fair bride. What does that mean? Think they watch too many advertisements. Either that or they are endorsing fair and lovely. Whatever. It’s a turn off. The next adjective that they use is ‘homely’. What in the freaking world does that mean? Should she look like a home? Or does it mean she should sit at home all day, so that there is no difference between her and the wall after a few years? Oh my. Imagine the life. And of course, she should respect elders. Whatever that means. How can anyone use such a language at this day and age? I mean even if they said she should know to cook well, that would make some sense. As one of my friends rightly pointed out, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But why respect elders for that? Or why be homely for that? I’m not saying no girl should respect elders. But the fact that they mention it, and emphasize so much on it is funny. Like hilarious. Actually I don’t think I quite get the idea of an arranged marriage. Well adjusted. Wtf? They should issue dictionaries and define all these words. For I don’t think I can ever understand the meaning of that. Maybe it’s a literal translation of some tamil or hindi word. Whatever. Well adjusted my ass. A fair, well adjusted, homely, respecting elders bride. And the worst part is, those guys aren’t fair or well adjusted, or homely for that matter. They would be fat, obese, balding, and dark. I have nothing against bald fat men. Its just to point out the stark reality. And the size of a man’s ego. Anyway, I seem to have forgotten another important point. Non alcoholic and non smoker. Oh come on! That guy would be sloshed every Saturday, he would be partying till freaking 5 am in the morning, smoking weed and all such shit. But he would still call himself a non alcoholic and non smoker. I know a guy like that. Oh man, what do they think? Girls aren’t that naïve these days, you know. In what world, I ask, in what world does he consider himself a non alcoholic? For some weird reason, the bride to be with all the above mentioned attributes is the stereotypical bride that everyone wants. And that again makes me want to puke. Its actually fun reading matrimonial ads. We used to read them out loud on Sundays and roll in laughter at the sheer audacity that goes into voicing out ‘their’ needs. Its purely cheese and corn. Smart and intelligent. Then what do all the un-fair and un homely girls do in life? Who, who I say will marry them? Lol. Anyway, like it is said, Draupadi wanted a guy who was honest, strong, skilled, wise, and handsome. And god said its not possible to have all that qualities in a single man. That’s why she had five husbands. If we go by the same logic, wouldn’t all the guys in the world be on cloud nine?